Maybe I'm reading the knot message boards too much these days, but seriously...Does the hospital make sure you poo before you are released? Does St. Joe's actually LOOK at it to make sure you do??? Bleh. All I can say, is someone better be bringing me a very large Starbucks non-fat vanilla latte in the hospital to, um, help things along.
My other "Excuse me?" thoughts so far this pregnancy:
Without naming anyone in particular, when someone asks about the baby why do they say "How's my baby doing?" Well, gee, last time I checked, my egg met my husband's sperm, then implanted in MY uterus, so what part of that makes this baby YOURS? Why don't YOU tell ME how YOUR baby is doing?
Tuesday is the last of my hell days at work for the year. Then it starts all over again on January 5th, and with a big weekend on the 13th. I can't believe it's been a year since I started this job. And hardly any thoughts about wanting to quit. At least no serious thoughts about wanting to quit, which is very different for me!
Oh, and I think I *may* be feeling the baby right now. It definitely feels weird. Like little knocks going on from the inside. I felt two just now, and I think I felt one earlier today. Okay, it stopped. Must. Empty. The. Bladder. And go to bed.
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Val, they just took my word for it that I poo'ed. :)
Actually, I got to answer ALL sorts of fun questions like that for the nurses every so often... "have you passed gas yet?" "did you poo?" "how many times?"
Seriously. You leave there with ZERO dignitiy... but with a newfound appreciation for having someone squirt your girly bits with warm water. Heaven, I tell you.
Also, has anyone told you about the mesh panties? ;)Meghan was the first to share this with me since she had Conner a couple weeks before I had Ben. Then I got to see them for myself and they were everything I had imagined and more.
Taking a shit after childbirth is the worst thing ever...hurts real bad!!! I also enjoyed having an icepack on my crotch... The hemmorhoid check in front of visitors rocks too!
If they ask if you want a nursing student when you deliver...just say NO. As a former nursing student we have no idea what we are doing. My sister in law had a nursing student cath her and she said it hurt because the student missed 3 times...the nurse had to do it and it was very fast and painfree... I had a nurse train another nurse on feeling how dialated you are...nothing like multiple people sticking there fingers up your who-ha...
Great. More reasons to look forward to pushing this kiddo out. Ugh. Can someone knock me out and wake me up when I'm discharged from the hospital.
And what's this about mesh panties??
Mesh panties!! They look like fishnets... they stuff them with gigantic icepack maxi pads (again, HEAVEN) and Tucks with hemmorhoid cream on them. It sounds bad, but when the time comes... you will count the minutes until the nurse comes to clean you up and hooks you up with a new crotch icepack. Ahhhhhhhhhhh....
I'm *so* pilfering more of them this time around. They leave a bag in your bathroom with extra mesh panties, icepacks, regular pads and squirty bottles to take home. I'm sending Tom to the car with it multiple times and claiming I never got one. Those icepacks are worth their weight in gold. :)
See, these are the tips I need, being so new and naive to the birthing process!!
Do they charge you for them?
No! Well, I guess technically it's rolled into whatever they bill your insurance... but as far as i'm concerned? FRee Free Free!!! (so is everything in the baby's little plastic house thing... except for the blankets) Take it all!!
I got the blankets too!!!!
Thief! ;)
I don't recall any blankets myself, but lots of free ice pack pad thingies. I think I still have a few. They also gave me spray on pain reliever (also still in the closet I think - never used) and a prescription for percocet, a couple of mesh panties, nasal aspirator (which I liked way better than the Target one), wipes, diapers, and a cute kid. They say he's Tim's. I don't think Tim can really deny him anyway.
Hehehe, Meg. I guess the cute kid is the ultimate thing to take from the hospital. Put spray on pain relief? I think I'll be using that!
Oh, honey, I was readmitted to the hospital with a uterine infection and actually WAS GLAD to get more pair of mesh panties. Comfort on the ol' C-section scar like you wouldn't believe.
And, if it's any consolation, from someone who went through labor and is willing to have another, I'm just as scared shitless. Wait, that's not consoling at all, is it? *sigh*
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