Second night of birthing class was last night, and quite frightening if I do say so myself. I think I need to not watch any more births - it scares the crap out of me and the more I see, the more I realize I just. don't. want. to. go. through. with. this.
The film in class last night actually showed the doctor "performing" an episiotomy. Um, by performing I mean literally cutting up the chick "down there" with a pair of scissors. It sounded like science class, when you have to cut up the frog or fetal pig to dissect it.
Well, I should say even before the scariest films I've ever seen, we did the hospital tour. Seriously, I think they ARE trying to scare the crap out of us! We saw the labor, delivery & recovery room first, which seemed nice. Then she took us to one of the postpartum rooms...in the west wing. This is key. The room was like your worst hospital nightmare room. Stark, cold, flourescent lights - just a bed and a bathroom. Upon walking out of the room, Don whispers to me (exactly what I was thinking) "Why are we delivering here?" I was thinking, okay maybe I'm more of a snob than I thought, but find me a designer, expensive, cushy hospital with perks and lattes and no tile floors please!!
Well, then she takes us to the east wing - which is like heaven compared to the utter hell that is the west wing. Nice wood paneling, curtains, a cushy bench/loveseat thing that turns into a bed for dad, a TV with VCR (yep, no DVD...and we just rid ourselves of all our old VHS tapes), and a Bose stereo/music system. Now, how can you guarantee that you get one of those rooms? Don't deliver when everyone else in Baltimore is delivering. Hmm. Yeah.
I hate hospitals. I don't want to do this. And until Don learns to get himself inseminated and carry a child for nine months, this may be our one and only baby. Particularly if this is one gender over another - not to play favorites or anything, but if it's a ____, I'm so done. If it's not, maybe years down the road in a drunken stupor, Don might be able to knock me up once more. Of course, there's always my plan of adoption. I do already have some pants for baby Tyrone. :-)
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6 comments:
heh...i'm totally planning on averting my gaze for the birthing movie. i won't even watch A Baby Story on TLC. some things i would rather just deal with when the time comes.
Shoot. I didn't even know there WAS an east wing!!! I better not end up over there! I had one of the cushy rooms last time! AAAAAAAAAAA!!!! I also had the corner LDR room, which is HUGE compared to all the ohter ones. I'm totally requesting it this time.
Also, did you by any chance count how many times you heard the phrase "bulging perinuium?" during the birth movie?? ;) Heh... I remember that movie VIVIDLY. It's really not as bad when you are going through it because you can't SEE anything. :)
And by east wing, I meant, of course, crappy west wing. Sorry, I need to read more carefully!
Erin, not if I beat you to it!!
Trust me, I wouldn't wish the west wing on anyone. Okay, maybe some of my worst enemies, but only them.
I missed how many times they said that...But I did notice the extensive use of the word "perineium".
I really, really don't want to go through with this. And no one option is even more appealling than another. AND PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANOTHER PLACENTA (in person or on film) EVER AGAIN! GROSS!!!!!!!!
Placentas are DISGUSTING!!!
On a side note...FUBU rocks!
when your are actually giving birth, you could care less because you truly don't see anything (unless you request a mirror - I didn't) Here's to a good room...
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